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Showing posts with label book review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book review. Show all posts

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Brave is Saying No

As a new mother on maternity leave, and an introverted homebody, I'm really enjoying this season of being home and being 100% present for my little family and the slow pace of life on maternity leave.  After you've had a baby, social pressures seem to go away. I'm not entirely sure if that pressure is real or self imposed or a mixture of both, but I certainly feel it most of the time.

I'm not good at saying no. I'm a recovering people pleaser and saying no is hard! But this season of life after baby has been so life giving and refreshing for me and for us! I love people, but for me being around people is tiring. I need time to myself and time with just my little family at home because that is where I feel re energized and refreshed.

As I've been pondering what it looks like as my maternity leave comes to an end to re enter into life with regular social interactions (work, and small group, and social outings that are more than people asking to come see me in my home and help take care of me and my baby), I came across this post from a blog I follow about how saying no is brave, which is actually a book review for this book that I have not read and thus cannot recommend.  So yes, I am basically writing a blog review of a book review- a review of a review! I feel like I get a fresh start with this. I get to re enter to social realm choosing what I'll say yes to and what I'll say no to, and I plan to be much more intentional about protecting our family time-for my sake, and for my husbands sake, and for the sake of our new little guy, because that time is so important and life giving to us. It's not going to be easy, and I'm not quite sure what it looks like yet, but I'm ready for the challenge!

What does brave look like to you? Are you a people pleaser afraid to say no?

Monday, April 21, 2014

Finding Your Purpose as a Mom by Donna Otto

I am not always very good about reading. I enjoy reading (mainly non-fictional books that encourage me in my walk with Jesus), but I'm busy and I have never really cultivated the habit of reading in my free time. My sisters both used to sit and read for hours; if it was a good book they could get lost and finish it in a day or two. I have NEVER done that. As a kid I would have rather been outside.  I tend to be easily distracted when I'm reading, especially by my list of things I feel like I should be doing. Lately it has felt easier to read; I am learning the benefit of resting and encouraging myself. It doesn't seem like it is taking away from what I should be getting done because I realize how much more energized and encouraged I am after reading things that encourage me in discipleship. I started reading a few weeks ago, trying to read 5 minutes a day as I read to do on this blog, and then as I was reading this book (that I'm about to reflect on) I read how the author makes time for a sabbath. For her it's a full day each week; that feels hard to me at this point in our life, but currently I work from home/don't work Fridays. Typically I wake up and get straight to being productive. I usually have an impossibly long list of things to get done so I eat breakfast and make coffee and race through my Bible reading and get going to check off my to do list. So lately I've been allowing myself to sleep in on Friday (which has felt especially necessary since my 30 week pregnant body is not sleeping so well), and I spend time in God's word, and I take the morning slow with coffee and a good breakfast, and I read, and journal and pray, or enjoy a prayerful walk/jog. My goal has been to do nothing off my to do list until noon, and guess what, I'm amazed at how much I can get done Friday afternoons, and I don't feel exhausted by 2 pm either.

So anyway, lately I have been reading (and just finished) a book called "Finding Your Purpose as a Mom" by Donna Otto. It is a really good, practical, encouraging book that I highly recommend. And while the whole book has a lot to offer I want to focus on a couple chapters that really challenged and encouraged me.

On that note here are some thoughts on becoming a woman of peace and busyness which she addresses. She recommends developing a life phrase  that defines what you feel you were made for. I am still working on mine, but hers is:
"To share the joy of my life with others through my enthusiasm, example, teaching, actions, and perseverance."
I would add to my own encouragement and sharing my home and life.

She also encourages women to have 5 principles that reinforce right behavior and shape options. Here are hers:
1. Being a woman of my word
2. Being honest
3. Being neat
4. Respecting and listening to others
5. Being a hard worker
I'm still working on honing in on mine but thoughts I've had are- being prayerful and realistic with my time, choosing God's way over man's way, praying instead of worrying, being organized but willing to go with the flow, being a woman of grace, using my words to encourage and build up.

Finally you should have priorities ( things only you can do). If you are not taking care of these fundamental priorities then you should rethink other involvements. Here are mine:
1. Spending time with God through prayer, Bible reading, and worship
2. Taking care of my body and mind by being active, fueling my body healthily, and protecting myself from what goes in
3. Being a wife to Ryan- encouraging and supporting him the way only I can as his wife
4. Being a mother to my children (well in a couple months anyway)- offering encouragement, nurture, guidance, and correction only a mother can give
5. Managing my household because this is ultimately my responsibility (proverbs 31)

The idea of these three things is that if you know what God has called you to, what kind of woman you want to be, and what your priorities are in order, then you can make decisions and schedule your life accordingly.  

A few ways I am trying to make our home more peaceful and less busy:
- scheduling tasks associated with priorities before scheduling other tasks 
- being prayerful about our schedule and working on cutting things out/saying no (this will be a long work in progress as I am not good at this)
- less social media ( I took Facebook off my phone so I have to work harder to check it)
- less TV- I try to be intentional about not just turning on the tv to veg or because I'm bored
- as I mentioned above, taking a sabbath during the week, which for me is Friday mornings- sleeping in, reading, enjoying my home- the fire, coziness, fresh air, good view out our back window, coffee, etc., being in god's presence, praying, thinking, reflecting, walking/running, journaling
- making more realistic to do lists and not find my worth in what I get done; completing tasks in order of priorities